“THE INTROVERT ADVANTAGE: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World” 

©2002 by Marti Olsen Laney

What was an extrovert like me doing reading The Introvert Advantage?? Hmmm, turns out I’m not such an extrovert after all, which makes me especially grateful that I picked up this book. It ought to be required reading for anyone who wants to interact more generously and effectively with…well, with anyone.

“Introversion is…a type of temperament,” writes author Marti Olsen Laney. “It is not the same as shyness or having a withdrawn personality, and it is not pathological. It is also not something you can change. But you can learn to work with it, not against it.”

Laney offers insights on what distinguishes introverts from extroverts and uses real-life examples from many settings to reveal how key distinctions can help forge more successful relationships at work and at home—and with yourself.

This book can be a big help to anyone struggling to fit into an environment that doesn’t always feel supportive — or striving to understand a friend, loved one, or coworker who seems to be from another planet. It’s filled with practical tips and suggestions for making the most of the introvert temperament, your own or someone else’s.

On the rare occasion that I say out loud that I’m an introvert, the reaction is pretty much the same: “Yeah…right!” But, as Laney says, “It is not the same as shyness.” I happen to be an introvert with highly developed social skills—which makes everyone (including the former me) assume I’m an extrovert.

For me, The Introvert Advantage was an especially liberating read and I found myself just wanting to hug the book when I was done, I loved it that much.

How about you…introvert or extrovert…and are you happy about it?

 

“MISTAKES WERE MADE (but not by ME)”

©2007  by Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson

Mistakes Were Made (but not by me) is an insightful, sometimes funny, yet sobering look at why we’re so quick to justify our beliefs, behaviors and action, sometimes at the cost of honesty, reason and self-respect. Authors Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson weave brain science into dozens of examples of how people justify the unjustifiable — at work, in marriage, in friendships, in war, even in our own hearts and souls. “The engine that drives self-justification…is an unpleasant feeling…called ‘cognitive dissonance.’”

In other words, we justify ourselves because it’s just too darned uncomfortable to live with competing brain maps clashing in our heads. Mistakes Were Made is one of a small handful of books I consider life-changing.

Anyone who’s ever made a mistake and had a hard time with the consequences is likely to benefit from reading this book. It gave me new tools for 1) thinking about and responding to my own mistakes and missteps, 2) understanding what’s going on when others justify theirs and 3) developing a more generous spirit around our very human need to justify. Highly recommended!

Are mistakes hard for you to accept, or are you one of those rare birds who take them in stride—or does it depend on what kind of mistake?